Friday, June 6, 2014

Restless...


Bright blue skies. Ruby-chested hummingbirds. The first fragrant flowers.

This is what spring is all about. The rejuvenation of life.

New beginnings, fresh starts...

This spring, I've needed a few of those fresh starts.

You know I mentioned before I want to just go - and do - and see - everything. The world, it's incredible! And it's at my fingertips.

God has something amazing in store for this summer. I can feel it. Not in the way I know I'm hungry {we are best friends...}. Not in the way I know I'm tired.

It's sort of unreal. Like I'm not quite sure just what to feel....I just know it's there.

❥I find this very loverly...
Every opportunity is a chance to do something worthwhile.
 
I watched a youtube video earlier today about a gentleman interviewing a man who was probably in his later 50's. The guy brought up a few key remarks about our culture that I have mulled over myself.
 
One thing he mentioned was how desensitized to wonder we are.
 
This world is amazing!! And nobody is happy. We have SO MUCH at our finger-tips, and we complain.
 
We don't even realize how blessed we actually are. Just think back a few decades... Woah! Wifi didn't even exist!! And you know what, they all survived just fine.
 
Among other things, the guy discussed how everybody without fail makes this huge deal about flights - cancelations, delays, sitting on the runway....every possible little thing that goes wrong with their flight.
 
Having just recently made my first flight ever, I am very in tune with what he talked about. No one is happy. While this was a new and exciting experience for me, everybody around me muttered about how unreliable airlines are.
 
I had three flights canceled.
 
I only flew in three airplanes.
 
One cancelation left me stranded in the Chicago airport for 14 hours.
 
Everyone kept asking me if I was mad, if I hated it, what I did about it - as if I should be furious.
 
My question back was - why?
 
What entitles me to anger over a delayed flight?
 
How incredible that I even got to be in an airplane!!
 
 
 
 
It was just so neat to be so many miles in the sky!! All I could think was how incredible the journey was, how much I enjoyed those first few minutes in the sky! And the other two flights did not lessen in amazement. The clouds were gorgeous! The earth so tiny. I could see all those places - the people, homes, cars - and all I could think was how big it was, how I was seeing only a small portion, how many people there were, and how, in view of them all, God loved ME and cared about ME on this flight right here right now....
 
There is this seed of discontent in our culture that saturates everything - everyone.
 
I just want to know.
 
WHY?
 
I am restless. I want to go places. I want to see things. I want to do something.
 
But everywhere I am, everything I witness, everything I do - right here, right now - is amazing too. If I cannot appreciate this, why would I cherish anything else?
 
This is my life.
 
And it is glorious.
 
 

 


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I Want...

 
It takes only a second for me to laugh at myself.

All these promises. So many hopes and dreams. Hmmm...

Right...

I've discovered I'm mortal. No matter how much I try, things don't always end up the way I want them to. But I've discovered something else.

That's ok!

I was thinking the other day about how many things I long to do with myself. I wish I could go see the world. I want to be a deep sea diver. I want to explore the Himalayas. I want to see all the old places, the new places, every place.  I want to draw. I want to make a difference. I want to study ancient cultures, understand who they were and what they did and WHY? I want to marry. I want to be a treasure hunter. I want to change the world. I want to serve my Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul and strength and mind. I want to see Northern Lights. I want to raise children. I want to write. I want to run a marathon. I want to sing. I want to marry the president. I want to take a safari in Africa. I want to see the old Incan and Mayan temples in South and Central America. I want to be an archeologist. I want to be a teacher. I want to help people in need.........

Ok, I think you are beginning to get the picture.

But I only have one life.

And it is dedicated to God.

Mommy says I'm an over achiever. Daddy says I have passion. I guess I'm just ambitious. And a dreamer. But all I know is I want something, something more, something great, from this life.

And I haven't found it yet.

But I know I will.

In other news, I was presented the Liebster Award a while back, never got around to it, so I'll finish it now!




There's lots of fancy rules, but most of these awards are pretty repetitive and long-winded {plus, I certainly gave 11 random facts about me up there^^}. So I'm just going to answer the questions my friend Cat from The World Crafter gave me.


1) What fandom do you "belong" to?


Yeesh! Right off the bat!?

Well, you probably won't like this.

I don't "fangirl".

NOT because I don't appreciate great films, superb acting, or handsome/beautiful faces.

I don't fangirl because I feel there is a principal missing there. Just think for a second. What is all this raving about? The screaming, passion, ogling? It's almost like a sort of worship.

Ok, perhaps that's a bit strong. But you can probably get my drift. Fangirling is a way for girls to "innocently" fill their minds with "hot" men and other realities. They can waste spend their time devouring their dreams of meeting so-and-so or seeing such-and-such episode. Life is meant for so much more!

There is only one man I will ever "fangirl" about.

And that's Jesus.

He's the only one worth all that fuss. He's the only one who deserves my praise. He's the only one I want to waste my time on. And I honestly don't think He'd want me screaming myself hoarse over Him the way most fangirls do about their crushes and programs anyway. That mental picture is just a wee bit disturbing.

I'm not saying all those programs and such are not worth watching or evil {though some of them may be, just being honest}. Your conscience can make that call. But you won't ever catch me "fangirling" over them. They are, after all, just SHOWS. A really great screenwriter's manipulation of human emotion plopped into a creative storyline designed just to suck the life out of teenage girls.
 
Ok, that was dramatic. Haha! ;)

Don't kill me, eh?


2) Would you fight to the death someone who bashes one of you favorite characters?


Most likely not. They are entitled to their opinion just as I am to mine. Of course, if they are bashing character and integrity, I would stand up for it. But a fight to the death? Did you see my list of life goals up there. I can't die yet! Hehe....


3) Would you use daggers for subtlety or swords for an all-out "COME AT ME BRO!" battle?


Actually, I would be most likely to do both. Start with that big sword, catch them off guard, and finish it with a dagger. I've read too many Henty books. Plus, I have always been pretty deceitful. It's the one thing I despise about my own character. Yikes. I just owned that?!


4) What do you do when someone tells you that you have pepper in your teeth?


L.O.L. and then go and get it out. :D


5) To you, what's more awesome....climbing trees or writing stories?


MORE awesome? If there had to be a decision, I would say writing. But I LOVE to climb trees, so.....


6) Have you ever secretly wished you were a unicorn?
 
 
No.
 
;)
 
 
7) When you drink tea, do you prefer a mug or a bone china cup?
 
 
Ooooh! I love both! Sometimes, like when it's raining, just a mug and a good book or friend is great. But I love taking out my real china set and making a cup of tea and sipping it and watching the sun go down. {When I never have time.}
 
 
8) What's your opinion on Alka-Seltzer?
 
 
I've never had to use it. :P
 
 
9) If you are an Agents of SHIELD fan, or a Marvel fan, or just a superhero fan, which agent/superhero do you think you'd be?
 
 
Well, as aforementioned, I'm not a "fan", per sey, but I do enjoy Marvel very much! Which one do I think I'd be? Good question. I'd love to say I'm like Captain America. But I'm probably much more like Bruce Banner - awkward. And in the way. And out of place. Except, without the temper tantrums. lol
 
 
10) Do you have a lucky number?
 
 
Haha!! Ok, this is silly. I actually do! And it's 13.
 
 
11) WHY do you have a lucky number?!
 
 
:D My logic is this. Whenever anyone asks you to pick a number between 1 and 20, they always select 13 in their head. Because it's "supposed" to be unlucky, right? So who would pick it? But because they "think" no one would pick it, I pick it. And it's usually right. Kinda uncanny, right?!
 
 
So there is that. Thanks Cat!!
 
 
If anyone else wants to answer her questions as mine, go ahead! Consider yourselves nominated. ;)
 
 


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Silversword English Golden Retrievers {puppies!!!!!!!!!!}


I think most of you were around two years ago when I brought home my first English Cream Golden Retriever, Silver Mist. {If you weren't, let's be honest. all you missed was a lot of squealing.}





Well, all journey's have a point where you must stop and look back {unless it's to the fridge. in that case, don't look back}.

I bought Silver with the intention of starting my own business. She wasn't cheap. Then we found and brought home Tizona {she wasn't cheaper}.


 
 
Well, basically, two years has flown past {except I've still never been on a plane, so maybe zoomed is more appropriate}. And I pretty much don't say a whole lot about my business. But, let's just say, I made this: http://www.silverswordgoldenretrievers.com/
 
 
LOL!! So cute!!
^^how I feel
 
You should definitely look at it and tell me what you think {and like it!! that would be amazing. then I could find you on facebook too (cause we all know you want me as your epic facebook friend)}.
 
And 5 weeks ago, this happened:
 
 



I didn't make that. But it has sort of turned into this:


 
 
 
 
 
 

And there are just about a million other amazing pictures I would adore showing you that you can find at this link: https://www.facebook.com/SilverswordEnglishGoldenRetrievers?ref=hl They are just sooooo cute!!! {I know. You want to hug one.}

So, pretty much impossible not to fall for, right?!

Not to mention, I'm loving being a photographer. I really would love to be a photographer.

There. That's business for me.






Thursday, March 6, 2014

It's about time...


I kept telling myself, tomorrow I'll get on blogger and post something. Maybe tomorrow I'll have ten minutes and I can catch everybody up. Tomorrow will be the day, that special day, when my life will magically disappear (I'll be a ghost) and I can do everything I dream of all at once {and maybe I can actually sleep!}.

Tomorrow, obviously, never came.

 
 
 
So here we are. Two months later {really I *thought* I had posted something in February...}.
 
But I've had several friend discuss blogging in the last few days and it gave me the blogger itch, so here it is, a much belated {and very lame} post...
 
Sometimes, it's so easy to get caught up in things. To find all your strength sapped away by life. Ha! What strength? I think I'm just beginning to find that out. That I have no strength... I have always felt like I had to be the strong one. For my younger siblings. For different friends drowning in grief. I never gave myself time to cry. Never allowed the fear to creep in. Told myself to be brave and face life no matter what it threw at me.
 
Yeah, so I've been learning it's ok to not be strong. To let other people handle it - or more importantly, God.
 
This is short. Not so sweet. But it's a start. Plus I have a million posts I have written in my drafts box that I'm going to start going through and finishing. Several are about my writing {ooh, that'll be exciting}!
 
So, have a good night and all that, and hopefully I'll be back more often!
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Hey, this is Caitria's sister Brisa. I'm 16...of course I don't act it...more like 13 or so...anyways, my friends call me Brisco, Janie, Birdie, Bert, Bob, Bruce, Lame Jane, BJ or anything else they feel like calling me. I'm not picky and generally they just call me a name based upon my mood.-I'm really moody-. So to start out I'm going to tell you about myself. Like I told you, I'm 16 and I'm Caitria's sister. I have short brown hair that looks like something between a 7 year old with scissors and a bed head. I'm about 5ft 5in...or depending on your ruler. I'm amazing at singing off tune when the guy I like is near and I can trip up the stairs like no one else. I rock at 52 card pick up. Seriously, I'm the best. I should be given a trophy. Anyways, so I'll stop with the boasting (I could seriously see you all turning green with envy). I sing in a choir and hang around my friends acting as grumpy and moody/depressed as possible to see which ones laugh and which ones try to help. I love to play volleyball, football, soccer, volleyball, foursquare, oh, and volleyball. I like to watch soccer and volleyball. Oh, did I mention that I like volleyball? Well, I do. So I don't know why I'm writing this, I think it's cause I'm tired and really stressed out about tomorrow. I type out dorky things and eat a lot when I'm stressed.-I used to be skinny. So I want you all to know that Caitria is an AMAZING older sister. She let's me do pretty much anything, from having folders and files on her computer, pinning things on her Pinterest to letting me spend the night in her room (or spending the night in mine) and letting me borrow clothes and taking me places and making me fat with all the treats she buys me. Seriously, you all should be jealous. Really. *Nods enthusiastically and then holds aching head*. Anyways, it's really fun to be me. Except when you have a theory test. Seriously, I could use some help with that. I have taken the stuff so much you'd think it'd be ingrained in my head, but I still struggle to tell you anything about it. :( Moving on...cause I'm just choking up right  now. Not. Ok. Ok. a;fhjasop;ifjd......that's how I feel most of the time. you can relate. So I'm just going to say that I'm just a regular Lame Jane...And I don't have anything fun to say. If you actually read this entire thing...I'm sorry, I'll try to get you some sanity treatment soon. (Whatever that is, I need to look into it for myself too. Maybe we can go together!) I'll talk to you later. (Actually, I just lied, I'll probably never talk to you. You're prolly glad.) Anyways, have fun with Caitria  and I hope you don't die today so you can have a good night sleep and forget this ever happened. Wait, what happened? Nevermind. Bye people, it was nice not knowing you.)
 
 
So I don't think she expected I would really post that. She wrote it for me more than you. But, I just have to brag for a moment. This girl is awesome. Seriously {you just read that, right?}. She is hilarious, witty, adorable....just about everything you could ask for. So, here's to my lil' sis! I love YOU, BJ....  <3 <3

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Eh he, happy not New Years


I made a bargain.

{A horrible decision really.}

And now my hands are tied.

{With 70 feet of blonde magic hair.}

So, I have a BIG surprise for you!!

{Uh... I do too!}

Ooh, but I bet my surprise is bigger!

{I seriously doubt it.}

Would you shut up?

{Go find a dream.}

Gah. Just a second, guys.

*sound of frying pan hitting skull*

Ok!!

So...

I have several New Years {I am trying to figure out how that is really supposed to go grammatically...New Year? New Year's? New Years'?} resolutions. Honestly, this is the first year I have ever made real resolutions. Normally, I just watch the day come and watch the day go and smile and wave at all the people who create these fantastic lists and goals. Then I go to bed. And wake up a happier Caitria.

{Are you hungry? Cause I know of a great place to eat.}

.......................................

So, this year is a bit of a change. But that's fitting, because I changed so much this year. From head to toe, figuratively and literally speaking {with maybe a pun intended}. First things off, my list. It's short. To the point. And 100% realistic.


1. {Find a dream.}

Ummm....I thought that dude was gone.

The real 1. Lose the mask.

I wear a mask. Did you know that? Maybe that's a part of being a writer. But I rarely show my true feelings. This year, I want to dig down to me, the real me, and let it go without fear. {Maybe inspired by Frozen...}

2. Get In the Shadow or Imitation published

Aaaaah! I've dreamed of this for so many years. To actually have TWO books so close gives me shivers!

3. {Get married.}

Come on!!?? Seriously?

The real 3. Stop wasting so much time on devices and spend more time with my family.

Over the last few months, I've seen a degeneration in my life of migrating more and more toward my computer and social networks {such as facebook, snapchat, and instagram} and less time with my lovely, wonderful family. We have so few years here in this home {especially since I'm getting married, right?!}. I don't want to waste them.

4. Complete a 364 day photo challenge.

A GREAT friend of mine is doing this and I asked to join her. I had another friend do it last year, and it just looks like so much fun. I am excited to do it. Eh he, I started a day late... But you can track it through my instagram account (myunicornhaswings).

5. Bond even more with my amazing friends.

God has blessed me immeasurably this year, with wonderful, Godly friends. I pray that they can be strengthened throughout this year even more!!

6. {Rule the World and ban chocolate}

The real 6. Get rid of this dude....^^



Ok. So, the bargain....

{Really, really a bad idea.}

I have been writing my tail end off the last month, getting In the Shadow ready to be published. But, along the side, I've been also working on a few other books.

{Pfft. A few?}

And so now I owe you {blame Cait} an explanation of my 2014 writing list and story-lines.

{Death plots.}

Nuance.



In the Shadow

This is the big one of year. Well, more like 8 years. Yes, I've been writing/editing this book for 8 years.  BUT. It is done. I mean, as done as you can get... The last thing I am doing is a little bit of reformatting on the chapter sequences and then it's on to querying {which I'm totally freaked out about, just so you know}!! So, history is epic. Especially ancient history, the stuff we don't know very much about, because you can play with it so much. I definitely qualify as a history nerd and In the Shadow sort of exploded with my enthusiasm. It has 2 protagonists, both slaves in Ancient Rome. They are total opposites. While Merrie just wants to be loved by her mistress and enjoy a peaceful life, Ionez's favorite thing to do is throw her master's orders back in their faces. If her own weren't so infuriatingly gorgeous, Ionez would have the one thing she longs for - freedom. So instead, she schemes up an idea as bold as it is dangerous in an attempt to get it. There may be a bit of intrigue, turncoat step-mothers, and a very unique dagger involved...{but we're not saying}. Merrie's simple world is destroyed by one small necklace. Her mistress's favorite - stolen - and she was the last one seen with it. From favorite companion to despised scum, she rallies everything inside her to earning back all the love and dreams she based her life upon. Yeah...Cait, go ahead and say it. Vague. ;)


Imitation

This is the one Cait really wants to hear about. I'll be nice. Sort of. I was going to explain, but there is too much. So I'm summing up. This is a huge WIP, a Dystopian sci-fi, and utter chaos. Nicole, the 17 year old protagonist, is special. Born with a technologically advanced brain, she has been the object of study for years - and she didn't even know it. When the time comes that the Director, who leads her city, can use her power, she is ready to give herself wholly for the government's use. Then she discovers just what they want her to do. Questionably ethic, the project introduces her to Tyler. Who stands against everything she has ever believed and been taught is right. But she's spent her life listening to the statutes of the city. She knows they have to be right - and so she turns Tyler in as a traitor just as she completes the project and allows the Director to introduce it to the entire city. To change everything they - or any person ever alive - has ever been. Just add a city in the sky. And lots of spaceships and a broken outside world and WAR.


My Unicorn Has Wings

Familiar with this one? My blog title was totally inspiration. This story is loosely related to my own life. Ok, mostly just the dorky protagonist. It's going to be fun. Have lots of puns, silly jokes, and craziness in it. Set in Kat's first year of college, it's more your traditional growing-up, finding yourself story {shouldn't she have done that already?}, with a mystery twist, including an ancient box in her attic, unicorns, and a grandfather she never knew. There will also be a singing competition {or musical theater, not sure which yet}, a library fight scene, a debate of the century, and a horse named Stargate.


Royal

This is actually the title of the sequel for this series, but the first book's name is under wraps. Another Dystopian. World War 3 has destroyed the earth. The people have come to the conclusion that half the problems of the world stem from their rulers and leaders. So they ditch every form of government, throw all the Royal families, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Governors, you-name-it types into a very special prison. {Wouldn't you love to know.} The new World Government runs smoothly for 10 years until Liv, daughter of the King of England, accidentally destroys her cell and finds herself free of the prison's influence.


Unbroken

I AM SO EXCITD ABOUT THIS BOOK! First of all, because it's not mine. It's my sister Brisa's. She's writing it. I am her editor. I'm excited because she has been reading over my shoulder and giving me ideas and thoughts for the last 3 years for my books. And she's AMAZING! I've been trying to get her to write a book for a while. Imitation actually started as a possible idea for her, but it didn't go anywhere and I kind of took over {eh, bad me}. Basically, I have no license to say anything about Unbroken {though I'm 100% positive I could}. But I just had to tell you about it because it's going to be fantastic!!


Astroid

No. Not asteroid. Astroid. Although stars and asteroids and huge ice glaciers and starving Siberian Tigers play a huge roll in the fantasy plotline {only partially constructed}. There's also a journey across an impossible desert where dragons play with fire and hoard fallen sky-gems. Two rival nations have been at war for a millennia. At long last, the {people group which I cannot disclose but start with an O so we'll call them the O's} O's have conquered the K's. With their victory, the O's hope to claim the prosperity of much smaller K through a small asteroid {yes, really an asteroid this time}. The King thinks the charm of his enemy controls the revolution of the planet through gravitational magnetics. But there's danger lurking in the asteroid and only Sam {pseudo identity}, the King's illegitimate son, suspects it. When he's sent on a mission and forced to team up with the crown prince of the kingdom they just destroyed, Sam discovers there's more to fear than just the asteroid.


The Last Scribe
I got this book half written before I sort of burnt out. Not of ideas. I knew where it was going {sort of}, but I burnt up my time. I decided to get In the Shadow done. Then began Imitation. My Unicorn Has Wings came along next. And so on... So, really, I just need to sit down and finish it. Another fantasy like Astroid {actually conceived first}, prophecy is the internal drive for my protagonist, Breem. Confused, timid, shy...he's not really the hero type. But he's been thrust into an adventure he cannot abandon. Finding the true king of the dissolved Messeran kingdom is probably the only thing that will give him what he wants. Escape. But where do you look for a king who doesn't want to be found? Yeah, this sounds pretty lame. So we'll ignore it for a while. It really needs a rework/rewrite of what I already have done.


And so {temporarily} ends my list of books. I'm spending most of my time trying to {unsuccessfully} block out the million other story ideas clambering inside my skull for freedom.

What about you, writing buds? Any great and glorious plans {of domination} for 2014? Which idea do you like the most?

{Ah ha! You expect them to have a favorite from that threadbare lot?}

Ummmm....





Sunday, November 24, 2013

The Depth

Going back through my archives, it's been interesting to see the different way's I've tried blogging.

There have been random days. Cliché days. Weird days. Story days. And God days.

After each of them, I have discovered my heart has a different reaction.

Actually, I don't know if I want to use that term. "My heart". It is so hollywoodized... It means so many different things. What I am trying to say is not the feel-good-sensory inside of me. It's not the thing that loves or hates. It's the part of me that feels conviction, rejoices, weeps, and forms opinions. That could be my soul. Or my mind too. There is no way to say exactly what it is.

I'm going to call it my Guard.

After posting something at random, I feel stressed. Did people like it? Was it stupid? Purposeless?

Ok, strike questions 2 and 3...

When I post cliché or weird, I am nervous. WHY did I do that? Everybody does that! Who's going to care about this? I just humiliated myself.

Story days tend to bore me. My own writing. My own tales... I'm creative. But unoriginal. Is that possible? I can tell a story. But not in a way to make people laugh. Not with the spark of life necessary to build a punch line.

The only time I can think of my Guard feeling satisfied when I click that "publish" button is God days. When I share what is going on inside me. What is building my faith and teaching me life lessons.

I've been re-surrendering things to God this week. Over the past month, I'd been trying to run things. "Trying" is the right expression. Talk about out of control! It was time to start afresh.

So I gave it all up again.

Funny how we have to do this over and over and over...


"For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all."
Romans 11:32


Over and over and over again I struggle with my sin. With how I can't beat it. Can't make it go away for good.

And believe it or not, my comfort is in the fact that I can't! Because that sin, those trials, suffering, all of it, forces me on my knees. Makes me go to Him. Pour out my cares.

There is a very old song, one that my mum would sing to me when I was no more the 2 or 3. Cast All Your Cares on Him. I love this song. I still sing it all the time, to remind me that when things are too much, He is there and He wants me to dump them at His feet!

It feels good to get on the right page again. Even if it's stained. I know I'm going to fall again. But that's not depressing. Because I know new lessons are between me and that new page. New opportunities and experiences and blessings and lessons.

I guess I'm not saying I'm only going to post God things. I would love to do that. But I relish the life He gave me too. Instead, I just want to bring Him glory, instead of try to bring the attention to me. Or a worldly pursuit.


"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways.
'For who has known the mind of the Lord, 
or who has been his counselor?'
'Or who has given a gift to him 
that He might be repaid?'
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen."



 
 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Piecing Noni together

About a month ago, I drew Noni from On a String... It's kind of scary, drawing someone you actually know. ;)

Aaaaaand....I decided....sort of....to do something crazy. Well, I was crazy once. This, I think, is just mad hatter.

But whatever.

Let's start over.

Guys, I drew a picture! Of my beautiful friend Noni {I call her by her real name, but most of you know her as Noni}. For fun, I thought it'd be neat to post step by step pictures of how it progressed! You can let me know what you think! ;)






 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Well, there you have it!
 
TTFN ta, ta for now!
 
 
 
 
 
 

P.S. There is this super giveaway going on at a friends blog. You should seriously check it out. But don't do it. Cause I wanna win. ;)

lol

I guess I should give you the link...

http://jonnigirl96.blogspot.com/2013/11/an-11-12-13-giveaway.html