Restless...

Bright blue skies. Ruby-chested hummingbirds. The first fragrant flowers.

This is what spring is all about. The rejuvenation of life.

New beginnings, fresh starts...

This spring, I've needed a few of those fresh starts.

You know I mentioned before I want to just go - and do - and see - everything. The world, it's incredible! And it's at my fingertips.

God has something amazing in store for this summer. I can feel it. Not in the way I know I'm hungry {we are best friends...}. Not in the way I know I'm tired.

It's sort of unreal. Like I'm not quite sure just what to feel....I just know it's there.

Every opportunity is a chance to do something worthwhile.

 

I watched a youtube video earlier today about a gentleman interviewing a man who was probably in his later 50's. The guy brought up a few key remarks about our culture that I have mulled over myself.

 

One thing he mentioned was how desensitized to wonder we are.

 

This world is amazing!! And nobody is happy. We have SO MUCH at our finger-tips, and we complain.

 

We don't even realize how blessed we actually are. Just think back a few decades... Woah! Wifi didn't even exist!! And you know what, they all survived just fine.

 

Among other things, the guy discussed how everybody without fail makes this huge deal about flights - cancelations, delays, sitting on the runway....every possible little thing that goes wrong with their flight.

 

Having just recently made my first flight ever, I am very in tune with what he talked about. No one is happy. While this was a new and exciting experience for me, everybody around me muttered about how unreliable airlines are.

 

I had three flights canceled.

 

I only flew in three airplanes.

 

One cancelation left me stranded in the Chicago airport for 14 hours.

 

Everyone kept asking me if I was mad, if I hated it, what I did about it - as if I should be furious.

 

My question back was - why?

 

What entitles me to anger over a delayed flight?

 

How incredible that I even got to be in an airplane!!

 

 

 

 

It was just so neat to be so many miles in the sky!! All I could think was how incredible the journey was, how much I enjoyed those first few minutes in the sky! And the other two flights did not lessen in amazement. The clouds were gorgeous! The earth so tiny. I could see all those places - the people, homes, cars - and all I could think was how big it was, how I was seeing only a small portion, how many people there were, and how, in view of them all, God loved ME and cared about ME on this flight right here right now....

 

There is this seed of discontent in our culture that saturates everything - everyone.

 

I just want to know.

 

WHY?

 

I am restless. I want to go places. I want to see things. I want to do something.

 

But everywhere I am, everything I witness, everything I do - right here, right now - is amazing too. If I cannot appreciate this, why would I cherish anything else?

 

This is my life.

 

And it is glorious.

 

 



 



It's about time...

I kept telling myself, tomorrow I'll get on blogger and post something. Maybe tomorrow I'll have ten minutes and I can catch everybody up. Tomorrow will be the day, that special day, when my life will magically disappear (I'll be a ghost) and I can do everything I dream of all at once {and maybe I can actually sleep!}.

Tomorrow, obviously, never came.

 

 

 

So here we are. Two months later {really I *thought* I had posted something in February...}.

 

But I've had several friend discuss blogging in the last few days and it gave me the blogger itch, so here it is, a much belated {and very lame} post...

 

Sometimes, it's so easy to get caught up in things. To find all your strength sapped away by life. Ha! What strength? I think I'm just beginning to find that out. That I have no strength... I have always felt like I had to be the strong one. For my younger siblings. For different friends drowning in grief. I never gave myself time to cry. Never allowed the fear to creep in. Told myself to be brave and face life no matter what it threw at me.

 

Yeah, so I've been learning it's ok to not be strong. To let other people handle it - or more importantly, God.

 

This is short. Not so sweet. But it's a start. Plus I have a million posts I have written in my drafts box that I'm going to start going through and finishing. Several are about my writing {ooh, that'll be exciting}!

 

So, have a good night and all that, and hopefully I'll be back more often!

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Hey, this is Caitria's sister Brisa. I'm 16...of course I don't act it...more like 13 or so...anyways, my friends call me Brisco, Janie, Birdie, Bert, Bob, Bruce, Lame Jane, BJ or anything else they feel like calling me. I'm not picky and generally they just call me a name based upon my mood.-I'm really moody-. So to start out I'm going to tell you about myself. Like I told you, I'm 16 and I'm Caitria's sister. I have short brown hair that looks like something between a 7 year old with scissors and a bed head. I'm about 5ft 5in...or depending on your ruler. I'm amazing at singing off tune when the guy I like is near and I can trip up the stairs like no one else. I rock at 52 card pick up. Seriously, I'm the best. I should be given a trophy. Anyways, so I'll stop with the boasting (I could seriously see you all turning green with envy). I sing in a choir and hang around my friends acting as grumpy and moody/depressed as possible to see which ones laugh and which ones try to help. I love to play volleyball, football, soccer, volleyball, foursquare, oh, and volleyball. I like to watch soccer and volleyball. Oh, did I mention that I like volleyball? Well, I do. So I don't know why I'm writing this, I think it's cause I'm tired and really stressed out about tomorrow. I type out dorky things and eat a lot when I'm stressed.-I used to be skinny. So I want you all to know that Caitria is an AMAZING older sister. She let's me do pretty much anything, from having folders and files on her computer, pinning things on her Pinterest to letting me spend the night in her room (or spending the night in mine) and letting me borrow clothes and taking me places and making me fat with all the treats she buys me. Seriously, you all should be jealous. Really. *Nods enthusiastically and then holds aching head*. Anyways, it's really fun to be me. Except when you have a theory test. Seriously, I could use some help with that. I have taken the stuff so much you'd think it'd be ingrained in my head, but I still struggle to tell you anything about it. :( Moving on...cause I'm just choking up right  now. Not. Ok. Ok. a;fhjasop;ifjd......that's how I feel most of the time. you can relate. So I'm just going to say that I'm just a regular Lame Jane...And I don't have anything fun to say. If you actually read this entire thing...I'm sorry, I'll try to get you some sanity treatment soon. (Whatever that is, I need to look into it for myself too. Maybe we can go together!) I'll talk to you later. (Actually, I just lied, I'll probably never talk to you. You're prolly glad.) Anyways, have fun with Caitria  and I hope you don't die today so you can have a good night sleep and forget this ever happened. Wait, what happened? Nevermind. Bye people, it was nice not knowing you.)

 

 

So I don't think she expected I would really post that. She wrote it for me more than you. But, I just have to brag for a moment. This girl is awesome. Seriously {you just read that, right?}. She is hilarious, witty, adorable....just about everything you could ask for. So, here's to my lil' sis! I love YOU, BJ....  <3 <3

Piecing Noni together

About a month ago, I drew Noni from On a String... It's kind of scary, drawing someone you actually know. ;)

Aaaaaand....I decided....sort of....to do something crazy. Well, I was crazy once. This, I think, is just mad hatter.

But whatever.

Let's start over.

Guys, I drew a picture! Of my beautiful friend Noni {I call her by her real name, but most of you know her as Noni}. For fun, I thought it'd be neat to post step by step pictures of how it progressed! You can let me know what you think! ;)



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, there you have it!

 

TTFN ta, ta for now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. There is this super giveaway going on at a friends blog. You should seriously check it out. But don't do it. Cause I wanna win. ;)

lol

I guess I should give you the link...

http://jonnigirl96.blogspot.com/2013/11/an-11-12-13-giveaway.html

I'm back, people!!!!!

So, my absence the last few weeks was most certainly NOT volunteered. Our wifi was shut off because of reasons beyond my control and the only way I had to access the web was my mobile device. From which I TRIED to post an update that failed miserably and I never attempted it again.

But, I AM back. We have new wifi. WOOT!! And now that I have missed all the fun, I can join back in the world and start up my own giveaway again and posts and stuff and all the drafts that have been collecting dust in my posts list. {I will finish them all, but I won't spam your blogs feed, don't worry. I'll take it nice and slow.}

Just a few updates since my last post for now, cause I need to head to bed, it's 11:30, I still have to pray and read my Bible, and I'm beat, because soccer season has started now and I had a game tonight.

I am working 4 jobs now. {eeeeek!} They take a LOT of time. Wait, did I say a LOT? I mean a LOOOOOOOOOOOOT of time. :P

Plus, I still teach an independent voice student.

I'm in soccer.

Write.

Hang out with friends.

And do all those menial tasks around the house {such as cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, you know....} that my minions forget...

All in all. Busy.

And fantastic!!!


Here's a few pics, then I'm gonna pop off!

a little dude I drew for my art students

 

 

 

my philosophy in life

 

 

Well. It's good to be back. I've missed you guys!

 

TTFN, ta ta for now!!

 

 

 

 

 



For realz

Ok, put down your drink. Swallow.

Today was a pretty great day. I spent the morning working, as usual. After work, I ran a few errands. Deposited money into my bank account {always a plus to a day, eh? ;)} It was a friend's birthday {Anna, I've mentioned her before!} so I took her out to Golden Corral and we hung out and talked for several hours. That was very fun.

After that I was supposed to go play vball. There weren't enough people so the few of them left headed to Orange Leaf instead. I met them there.

Ok. You did swallow that coffee right? No chocolate in the mouth? Good.

So, they had this board on the back wall of the Orange Leaf counter of *this* guy:

 

  

Can you guess who? Well, that was the test. See, if you did, you got 3oz of frozen yogurt free....

 

I'm all game! Specially since one of my friends had already done it and guessed right.

 

Have you made your guesses already? I knew right off it was an early church leader and book writer. I'd seen that face before. I'd read his work...

 

BUT WHO WAS IT???????

 

Took me five minutes of silence, watching my friends play checkers, scrambling my mind. At first, I thought, it's Charles Spurgeon. But he looks WAY different. I couldn't bring myself to guess that.



 

 

 ^^Charles Spurgeon....

 

 

So yeah, I finally did it. Just blurted out a name. And it was the right one!!!!

 

My friend who had already guessed it {his name is Micah, he's Jonnah and Rae's brother} said, "yep, that's him!!!"

 

Great! Awesome! I just won 3oz of frozen yogurt. Well, we were still waiting on a friend, so we didn't go get our yogurt yet...... Just sat, visited... Then she came in, we talked some more. We also asked her if she could guess who it was! She thought for a little bit, but didn't figure it out.

 

I filled my Orange Leaf cup with Orange and Pineapple frozen yogurt, strawberries, raspberries, and kiwi. Went up the pay.

 

My friend who came in late asked me, "ok, so who is it!!"

 

And I stared at her.

 

And stared at her.

 

And licked my lips.

 

Yum...that frozen yogurt looked good.

 

 

My mind went completely blank. Like, literally, it was empty. You know, TEN SECONDS EARLIER I KNEW WHO THAT MAN WAS.

 

Yep, it was gone. I stood there, in front of my friends.

 

And laughed. And laughed again....

 

It was gone.

 

My oh me..... the cashier asked me if I wanted clues. I said, "NOOOOO, I KNOW WHO IT IS!!!" She gave me the first letter of the first and last name anyways. Nothing. Yikes, I was in deep waters. I even shouted Charles' name to the world. Even though I knew it wasn't him. Yeah. LOL. I kept laughing.

 

About 3 minutes later, it came back.

 

John Calvin.

 

Yep. The man one of the churches we visited for about a year was absolutely OBSESSED with. The man I've read about in history for years. The man who has several books that I have read....

 

Wow.

 

No, I was NOT born blonde.

 

Ok, you can go back to drinking your coffee and eating your chocolate.

 

Only I'd much rather have raspberry {or MINT!!} tea and a good bowl of fruit. :D

 

 



 

To be honest...

When I was a kiddo, I struggled with lying. Protecting myself against accusation, pain, the stuff I'd done wrong.

You know.


WHO ate the last piece of candy?

Why is that dirty?

How come the -- is gone?


Well, whatever it was...it wasn't me.

I guess you could say it was my greatest fear, to be found in the wrong.

Anyhow, I had to learn the hard way a lot of times that lying doesn't pay. You will be found out and yikes, when you are, it's nooooooooo fun. :P

So, just a reminder, because even now, I have to stop to keep the old habit from coming back, to be honest. Always.

Ok, new topic. ;)

A drawing!! I did this one a long time back {well, July, anyways}. But I forgot to post it, so I figured I would now!!





That one was for my lovely friend Grace!!!! The letters went crooked... :P She put it up in her office. :D She works for a missions that travels worldwide!!!

Ok. And then I did this one last month. For my friend Jonnah! The camera did some bizarre things with it when I took the pic...but oh well. ;)



Life's been pretty crazy. A lot of soccer. Volleyball. Good talks with friends. People getting married. Engaged. Having babies. You know. Life. Crazy. Yeah.

Anyhow, I'm in the mood for a laugh. :D


So laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ta ta lovelies!!

 

 

 



night lines

Heart strings tugging. Devouring. Pleading.

My head says wait, stop. Take your time.


I am impulsive. I jump into things before I think about them, most of the time. Friendships have been made that had to be broken. Choices have come back to smack me in the face.

Most of the time, I love my impulsiveness. The ability to just ... do. I am such an extrovert. And in a world that is turning introvert - and proud of it - I am beginning to be part of a rarer and rarer breed. I do not fear people. I do not fear what they think of me. I mean, I care. I've gone over that before. But the reflection of that caring came out in my actions, not my personality. While I would seek to do what I thought they wanted, I was still as driven by my hyperactive energy and craziness to stand out.

I feel like an open book. People look at me, and I know they understand what I am thinking. It is unsettling. Nerve-wracking most of the time. I think that is what makes me want to do the unexpected. To catch them off guard.

That impulsive decision to just do...it gets me in messes. I have to clean up life a lot. I say things on impulse that later I realize...I didn't even mean...at least, not in that way.

And there are days when I respond to that inner urging...and I know it was God. He directed that pathway.

Today, I had an urging to share a bit of my heart with a friend. And I do not regret it. It was a God moment.

Now, it's almost midnight. I am sitting here, reflecting my day. Each decision. The reason behind it....wondering. Why? Why did I make that choice or that decision. What will come of this....

This is the time I think. My night lines, I call it. When I drag every tiny detail of my day to mind and ponder...ponder...ponder...........

When I Stare at the Sky

Once upon a time, I looked at the world with rose colored glasses. Everything was beautiful.

 

And then one day, someone took them off.

 

I saw ugliness. Cruelty. Pain.

 

I understood despair.

 

Do you ever just sit and imagine perfection of life? That feeling of security. Dependence. Peace. A wash of ultimate harmony. Beauty. All of it. Real.



When I was a child, I lived in this place. This perfection. I found everything simple. Glorious. It's not that I was ignorant. Or unaware. I chose to see a side of life that was far from the destruction of sin.

 

I'm not sure if that was necessarily a good or bad thing. I did not see the flaws in other people. I did not judge. But I did not see the heart of wickedness. The destruction of friendship through disloyalty and jealousy. I expected people to be good. And we are not.

That moment, when my eyes were opened to the real world, I was grieved. Deep down in my soul. Pain welled up. Overpowered. Tore me to pieces. I couldn't believe it. My perfect world. Nothing but a mist of shadows, a vapor of dreams...

 

I wept. For the world that was not. The world I saw could be. And watched disappear.

 

I asked my Daddy why, why God did not just sweep us up right off to Heaven. Why leave us here to suffer? When He is all knowing, why make us wade through this giant mess we call life?

 

My Dad sat me down on the couch. He looked me straight in the eye. And said, "If we do not understand sin, we cannot understand forgiveness. If we do not understand hate, the power of love is lost."

"For God has bound all men over to disobedience, that He may have mercy on them all." Romans 11:32. 

Once upon a time, there was perfection. In the garden of Eden. But God gave man a choice. He allowed corruption to infiltrate the world. So that He can show us His infinite grace...mercy...forgiveness....love.

 

There will always be the pain of failure. We will always mess up. We have been bound to it.

 

So that God can have mercy on us.

 

But it doesn't end there. If you accept that mercy. Plead for that forgiveness. Welcome that love...you will die to this corrupt flesh and rise again a new being in Christ! You will find eternity in perfection, in Heaven, the home of God's creation.

And it will be perfect.



Sometimes I still stare at the sky. I still wish things were perfect. That I wouldn't have to wonder. Feel this pain. Confusion. Humiliation. Sorrow.

But I know they are teaching me. Defining me. Refining me. For His power. And one day, perfection will come.



The long days stay with you...

One thing I remember about my childhood.

Those days I spent lingering at a window, waiting for people to arrive at my house, waiting for the sun to go down, waiting for my Daddy to get home....those times are some of the most imprinted in my mind.

Not because of the excitement for the upcoming fun.

Not because I was bored and anxious.

Not because there was nothing else to do {or that neither of the above weren't true...}.

I remember them because they were long. And my mind wandered. Through passages of thought. Through past actions. Through future dreams....

Sometimes, the waiting is the best part of life.

Right now, I am waiting. For a lot of things.

My business is on the verge of really starting to get out of the red and into the black. {Oh, that moment shall be dear!}

I will be started several new jobs in the upcoming month.

My future plans for a family are definitely on the waiting list...

My books just seem to need more and more and more and more work the longer I edit them.

There just seem to be PLANS for waiting everywhere in my life.

And I'm ok with that. Because I remember back to sitting in those window sills. Listening to my own thoughts revolve in my mind. I learned so much in those times of waiting. Depending on God. Searching my heart.



God has some pretty amazing ways of teaching us. And waiting is one of them.

I just want to encourage you today, if you are waiting on Him to act in your life, to complete a promise, fulfill a purpose, to just keep trusting and leaning on Him. In His own PERFECT timing, everything will fall into place. Then you can look back and see how all along, He was right there, planning every little step.

I like that.

A lot.



 

 

*THIS* is perfect: