night lines

Heart strings tugging. Devouring. Pleading.

My head says wait, stop. Take your time.


I am impulsive. I jump into things before I think about them, most of the time. Friendships have been made that had to be broken. Choices have come back to smack me in the face.

Most of the time, I love my impulsiveness. The ability to just ... do. I am such an extrovert. And in a world that is turning introvert - and proud of it - I am beginning to be part of a rarer and rarer breed. I do not fear people. I do not fear what they think of me. I mean, I care. I've gone over that before. But the reflection of that caring came out in my actions, not my personality. While I would seek to do what I thought they wanted, I was still as driven by my hyperactive energy and craziness to stand out.

I feel like an open book. People look at me, and I know they understand what I am thinking. It is unsettling. Nerve-wracking most of the time. I think that is what makes me want to do the unexpected. To catch them off guard.

That impulsive decision to just do...it gets me in messes. I have to clean up life a lot. I say things on impulse that later I realize...I didn't even mean...at least, not in that way.

And there are days when I respond to that inner urging...and I know it was God. He directed that pathway.

Today, I had an urging to share a bit of my heart with a friend. And I do not regret it. It was a God moment.

Now, it's almost midnight. I am sitting here, reflecting my day. Each decision. The reason behind it....wondering. Why? Why did I make that choice or that decision. What will come of this....

This is the time I think. My night lines, I call it. When I drag every tiny detail of my day to mind and ponder...ponder...ponder...........

When I Stare at the Sky

Once upon a time, I looked at the world with rose colored glasses. Everything was beautiful.

 

And then one day, someone took them off.

 

I saw ugliness. Cruelty. Pain.

 

I understood despair.

 

Do you ever just sit and imagine perfection of life? That feeling of security. Dependence. Peace. A wash of ultimate harmony. Beauty. All of it. Real.



When I was a child, I lived in this place. This perfection. I found everything simple. Glorious. It's not that I was ignorant. Or unaware. I chose to see a side of life that was far from the destruction of sin.

 

I'm not sure if that was necessarily a good or bad thing. I did not see the flaws in other people. I did not judge. But I did not see the heart of wickedness. The destruction of friendship through disloyalty and jealousy. I expected people to be good. And we are not.

That moment, when my eyes were opened to the real world, I was grieved. Deep down in my soul. Pain welled up. Overpowered. Tore me to pieces. I couldn't believe it. My perfect world. Nothing but a mist of shadows, a vapor of dreams...

 

I wept. For the world that was not. The world I saw could be. And watched disappear.

 

I asked my Daddy why, why God did not just sweep us up right off to Heaven. Why leave us here to suffer? When He is all knowing, why make us wade through this giant mess we call life?

 

My Dad sat me down on the couch. He looked me straight in the eye. And said, "If we do not understand sin, we cannot understand forgiveness. If we do not understand hate, the power of love is lost."

"For God has bound all men over to disobedience, that He may have mercy on them all." Romans 11:32. 

Once upon a time, there was perfection. In the garden of Eden. But God gave man a choice. He allowed corruption to infiltrate the world. So that He can show us His infinite grace...mercy...forgiveness....love.

 

There will always be the pain of failure. We will always mess up. We have been bound to it.

 

So that God can have mercy on us.

 

But it doesn't end there. If you accept that mercy. Plead for that forgiveness. Welcome that love...you will die to this corrupt flesh and rise again a new being in Christ! You will find eternity in perfection, in Heaven, the home of God's creation.

And it will be perfect.



Sometimes I still stare at the sky. I still wish things were perfect. That I wouldn't have to wonder. Feel this pain. Confusion. Humiliation. Sorrow.

But I know they are teaching me. Defining me. Refining me. For His power. And one day, perfection will come.



Guest Post #10098476...ok, just kidding. second one on muhw

So I am a part of an online writing group!!! Which is way cool. And one of the other authors got on and asked for volunteers {eeek, save Prim!} to write posts for him and then he'd do one for you. I did mine for him {which I might post on here someday...}. So here is his:

Introducing: Oliver Dahl


I don't think the story of how I started writing is very different from anybody else's. Perhaps it just started earlier than most. I remember when I was in Kindergarten, and even earlier, that I really enjoyed reading nonfiction books. I liked learning new things. Whether it was pirates or castles, I enjoyed learning more about these cool things! I recall being quite fond of the Eyewitness series of nonfiction books. Their cool pictures along with interesting tidbits of info on rocks, swords, and more were my favorite. The first real books I wrote were mock ups of my own series of books, quite like the Eyewitness series. I would take printer paper, draw a few pictures in crayons, and write short sentences off to the side explaining what was going on. I remember looking through them a while ago and laughing at a stick figure frowning behind prison bars. The caption read, "In the dungeon you die."

From there, I moved on to the Magic Tree House books, and followed those up until book 30 or 40, always getting the newest one at the book fair every year. I enjoyed the fantasy element. (Looking back, I realized that these books are pretty much Doctor Who for kids... Minus the Doctor, aliens, and instead of a Police box TARDIS, it's a tree house. Okay, they're not that much alike, but I can draw a few similarities, okay?)

This got me on my fantasy/fiction kick. I got into Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events, and fell in love with the way he wrote, addressing the reader, while using humor and sarcasm to express unique ideas. To this day, this series is one of my all-time favorites. 

More books followed. Alex Rider, The Underland Chronicles, (by Suzanne Collins... Check them out!) the Transall Saga (by Gary Paulsen) and Holes. A lot of my love for reading, and for the genre of books that I enjoy now, came from my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Bivens. 

After reading book after book day after day, I discovered the writer's adage, "Write the kind of book you would like to read," by myself. I had read all these books, and seen all these movies, and they were all awesome! But... I felt like I could make something even more awesome. Something with elements from every story I had ever enjoyed. Something with dragons, fairies, wizards, sword fighting, AND airplanes! This story idea, originally written in messy handwriting on notebook paper is now The Stone Chronicles, a 550+ page epic that needs another rewriting. I still love it so much, and I don't want to ever let go of it.

Once I started seriously writing this book, more ideas came to mind. I would write them down in a notebook whenever I had them. None of them seemed to be quite as good as "The Stone Chronicles," so I never really suffered from wanting to abandon the book to write something else. That is, until The Dreamers.

When NaNoWriMo 2011 rolled around, I didn't realize what it really was until almost halfway through November. When I realized that you had to write something completely new in the month's time, I got excited. I had a good new idea that I thought I could pull off pretty well! I distinctly remember purposefully walking to my room, opening a new document, and getting started without a problem. In that last half of the month, I wrote almost 30,000 words, and the first draft of what is now "The Dreamers." 

I think that about sums up how I started writing. I sure don't plan on stopping any time soon.

The Dreamers

The Nightmarers

Lies (coming soon)

About Oliver: Born in 1998, Oliver Dahl is the oldest of five children and lives in Idaho. Previous to finishing middle school, The Dreamers had earned him the a spot as one of Idaho's Top 50 Idaho authors (2011). The title of Idaho's Student of the Year (2012) preceded both the publication of Dahl's second novel, The Nightmarers, and the completion of his freshman year of high school. 

Oliver's books have spent time in the top percentages of books on Amazon.com. Authors like Brandon Mull, Obert Skye, and Richard Paul Evans own autographed copies and have expressed interest in The Dreamers. Dahl is also an awarded musician and engineer. In addition to these accomplishments, he has twice as many Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio, and has won the Tour de France as many times as Lance Armstrong.

Links: 

Facebook Page: Click here to view my page.

Twitter: @OliverWDahl.

YouTube: Click here to view my Channel.

Amazon Author Page: Click here to view.

GoodReads Author Page: Click here to view.

Google+: Click here to add "The Dreamers" to your circles.

Tumblr: check out what I think is funny at www.oliverwdahl.tumblr.com!

Imgur: pictures (usually funny) www.oliverwdahl.imgur.com

DeviantArt: See what I'm drawing over at www.oliverwdahl.deviantart.com 

I'm on Riffle! Check out my profile.

Well, there you have it folks!!! Hope you are enjoying this fabulous Wednesday weather!!!!!! :D

The long days stay with you...

One thing I remember about my childhood.

Those days I spent lingering at a window, waiting for people to arrive at my house, waiting for the sun to go down, waiting for my Daddy to get home....those times are some of the most imprinted in my mind.

Not because of the excitement for the upcoming fun.

Not because I was bored and anxious.

Not because there was nothing else to do {or that neither of the above weren't true...}.

I remember them because they were long. And my mind wandered. Through passages of thought. Through past actions. Through future dreams....

Sometimes, the waiting is the best part of life.

Right now, I am waiting. For a lot of things.

My business is on the verge of really starting to get out of the red and into the black. {Oh, that moment shall be dear!}

I will be started several new jobs in the upcoming month.

My future plans for a family are definitely on the waiting list...

My books just seem to need more and more and more and more work the longer I edit them.

There just seem to be PLANS for waiting everywhere in my life.

And I'm ok with that. Because I remember back to sitting in those window sills. Listening to my own thoughts revolve in my mind. I learned so much in those times of waiting. Depending on God. Searching my heart.



God has some pretty amazing ways of teaching us. And waiting is one of them.

I just want to encourage you today, if you are waiting on Him to act in your life, to complete a promise, fulfill a purpose, to just keep trusting and leaning on Him. In His own PERFECT timing, everything will fall into place. Then you can look back and see how all along, He was right there, planning every little step.

I like that.

A lot.



 

 

*THIS* is perfect:

 

 

 

some things don't need captions