Thursday, August 22, 2013

When I Stare at the Sky

Once upon a time, I looked at the world with rose colored glasses. Everything was beautiful.
And then one day, someone took them off.
I saw ugliness. Cruelty. Pain.
I understood despair.
Do you ever just sit and imagine perfection of life? That feeling of security. Dependence. Peace. A wash of ultimate harmony. Beauty. All of it. Real.

When I was a child, I lived in this place. This perfection. I found everything simple. Glorious. It's not that I was ignorant. Or unaware. I chose to see a side of life that was far from the destruction of sin.
I'm not sure if that was necessarily a good or bad thing. I did not see the flaws in other people. I did not judge. But I did not see the heart of wickedness. The destruction of friendship through disloyalty and jealousy. I expected people to be good. And we are not.
In your face, Selena Gomez! Bwahaha. But seriously.
That moment, when my eyes were opened to the real world, I was grieved. Deep down in my soul. Pain welled up. Overpowered. Tore me to pieces. I couldn't believe it. My perfect world. Nothing but a mist of shadows, a vapor of dreams...
I wept. For the world that was not. The world I saw could be. And watched disappear.
I asked my Daddy why, why God did not just sweep us up right off to Heaven. Why leave us here to suffer? When He is all knowing, why make us wade through this giant mess we call life?
My Dad sat me down on the couch. He looked me straight in the eye. And said, "If we do not understand sin, we cannot understand forgiveness. If we do not understand hate, the power of love is lost."

"For God has bound all men over to disobedience, that He may have mercy on them all." Romans 11:32. 

Once upon a time, there was perfection. In the garden of Eden. But God gave man a choice. He allowed corruption to infiltrate the world. So that He can show us His infinite
There will always be the pain of failure. We will always mess up. We have been bound to it.
So that God can have mercy on us.
But it doesn't end there. If you accept that mercy. Plead for that forgiveness. Welcome that will die to this corrupt flesh and rise again a new being in Christ! You will find eternity in perfection, in Heaven, the home of God's creation.
☼ <3<3<3
And it will be perfect.

Sometimes I still stare at the sky. I still wish things were perfect. That I wouldn't have to wonder. Feel this pain. Confusion. Humiliation. Sorrow.

But I know they are teaching me. Defining me. Refining me. For His power. And one day, perfection will come.


  1. Not sure what to say, except... that I know that exact feeling. Suddenly your beautiful world g ets turned upside down and you feel sick inside. It stinks a little bit. :-*

    1. Yeah, sometimes there isn't anything to say. And yep, this is something all mankind faces....

  2. Wow...a lot of what you just wrote is so close to what I've been thinking about lately. Wonderfully written, darling, and the end is so joyful, mirroring the end for those of us believe. Thank you.

    1. Aw, I'm so glad it hit close to home! I think it should be joyful! The day we go to Heaven will be a wonderful one. :D :D :D You are welcome, deary!!

  3. <3 yes to everything about this post. ^_^


I'm sincerely wondering if you are going to comment. Given you just read that blog post (or maybe skim read, at best, or maybe you've just skipped to the bottom). But, either way, whether you read it or not, NOW you have no doubt that I am crazy, are wondering if I am worthy of your time, and if it even matters that you say something. BUT, it does!!! Drop me a line! Can't tell you I will always respond coherently, but I WILL respond! And the comments... Well, they rather make my days. <3