Friday, August 23, 2013

night lines

Heart strings tugging. Devouring. Pleading.

My head says wait, stop. Take your time.

I am impulsive. I jump into things before I think about them, most of the time. Friendships have been made that had to be broken. Choices have come back to smack me in the face.

Most of the time, I love my impulsiveness. The ability to just ... do. I am such an extrovert. And in a world that is turning introvert - and proud of it - I am beginning to be part of a rarer and rarer breed. I do not fear people. I do not fear what they think of me. I mean, I care. I've gone over that before. But the reflection of that caring came out in my actions, not my personality. While I would seek to do what I thought they wanted, I was still as driven by my hyperactive energy and craziness to stand out.

I feel like an open book. People look at me, and I know they understand what I am thinking. It is unsettling. Nerve-wracking most of the time. I think that is what makes me want to do the unexpected. To catch them off guard.

That impulsive decision to just gets me in messes. I have to clean up life a lot. I say things on impulse that later I realize...I didn't even least, not in that way.

And there are days when I respond to that inner urging...and I know it was God. He directed that pathway.

Today, I had an urging to share a bit of my heart with a friend. And I do not regret it. It was a God moment.

Now, it's almost midnight. I am sitting here, reflecting my day. Each decision. The reason behind it....wondering. Why? Why did I make that choice or that decision. What will come of this....

This is the time I think. My night lines, I call it. When I drag every tiny detail of my day to mind and ponder...ponder...ponder...........


  1. Really? You think the world is turning introvert? I would have said the opposite! XD But then, I'm SUPER introverted, so maybe I see most people as being extrovert. ;) Haha!

  2. I love to do that too. Just sit and think. So many things happen, and the Lord works in amazing ways when you take the time to slow down, think, reflect, and listen.

  3. Acting on impulse is a good way to get things done - at least that is how I work. I dash into something and think about it later when it is too late for me to back out. But like with your friend, sometimes it is God's leading and wonderful things can come of it 8-D


I'm sincerely wondering if you are going to comment. Given you just read that blog post (or maybe skim read, at best, or maybe you've just skipped to the bottom). But, either way, whether you read it or not, NOW you have no doubt that I am crazy, are wondering if I am worthy of your time, and if it even matters that you say something. BUT, it does!!! Drop me a line! Can't tell you I will always respond coherently, but I WILL respond! And the comments... Well, they rather make my days. <3