Monday, May 21, 2012

Those moments when you go..."DUH!!"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
Not all of these are origonal to me:

On a Sears hairdryer – “Do not use while sleeping."
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos – “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”

(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap – "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners – "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(But, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) – "Do not turn upside down."
(Well…that’s a little late now!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron –  "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine – "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off the forklifts.)

Above the door to a Starbucks building – "Do not lock doors during business hours."
(I suppose the customers would like to get in...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid – "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(And...I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights – "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor – "Not to be used for the other use."

(Now, somebody out there help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts – "Warning: contains nuts."

(Talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts – "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, ooh... Fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume – "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw – "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or hair."
(Oh my ... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On Starbucks paper/cardboard cup thingies: "Warning: The beverage you are about to drink may be hot."
(Um... yea?!)

Not from me, but much better in the first person: “Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.”

Same here: “I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue as to what had just happened.”

And here: “A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." ”

And here: “Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.”

Hehe! Aren't these great!!!!! <3

~ Caitria


  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omw word Caitria! I laughed my face off!!! lol!!

    I love the pic that says "Please use other door" "this is the other door"

    LOL! It's like those poor ppl at Asbury who can't for the life of them get ppl to use the right door! lol!!

    hehe. ok. Thank you so much for the laugh. :D :D

  2. I know!!!! That one was great! You are VERY welcome. I had a lot of fun compiling these! It's good to laugh. <3


I'm sincerely wondering if you are going to comment. Given you just read that blog post (or maybe skim read, at best, or maybe you've just skipped to the bottom). But, either way, whether you read it or not, NOW you have no doubt that I am crazy, are wondering if I am worthy of your time, and if it even matters that you say something. BUT, it does!!! Drop me a line! Can't tell you I will always respond coherently, but I WILL respond! And the comments... Well, they rather make my days. <3